Interesting
by magical trever
Summary: First Criminal Minds fic. What happens to Spencer when things get interesting.


Oh, _well done Dr. Reid!_ You're meant to be smart, you stupid prat, and you've only gone and got yourself KIDNAPPED. You stupid prick.

Sighing, you slowly move your arms and legs to see if there's any damage, and bite down a scream. You won't be doing that again anytime soon, as your left arms feels like its on fire. Fantastic. You've dislocated your elbow. You don't know where you are, why you're there or how you got there, but you're not bloody happy about it.

Gingerly feeling your elbow with your right hand, you're sure it's just dislocated. Pain throbs through your whole arm, but you slam the joint back into place anyway.

Good mother fucking _CHRIST!_ That fucking _hurt_!

Moving your elbow experimentally, you decide its somewhat fixed and try to think about how to get out of the dark cold room you've found yourself in.

You tilt your head as you hear a door opening, and seconds later you're out cold as something metal slams against your temple and puts the lights out. Again.

Oh, _hell_.

You walk through the bullpen quietly and knock on the conference room door more forcefully then you intended too, just in time to hear something heavy crash into the next wall along. As you wait for the door to open you lean against the wall and wish you had a strong cup of coffee inside you right now, because you feel like shit.

You can hear snippets of the conversation inside.

"Look, I don't care! We have to find Reid NOW!!" shouts a somewhat distressed Morgan, and you smile at the concern in his voice.

You can't hear the reply but it sounds distinctly like Gideon, trying to calm him down.

Footsteps stalking toward you wake you up from your daydream of dancing coffee cups when the door is flung open wide with a snarling Elle, not looking so happy.

"What the hell do – SPENCER?!"

"Hey Elle"

The whole team jump up and start talking all at once, and no one is more surprised than you when a tearful JJ strides up to you, grabs your head in both hands, yanking your head down to kiss you hard on the mouth.

(Score!!)

You respond immediately, wrapping your arms (slowly) around her, kissing her back enthusiastically.

Time fly's when you're having fun and you all too soon hear a strained Hotch.

"Er, Spencer …?"

You respond with the universal 'one minute' signal behind JJ's back and slow down kissing her a bit, much to the amusement of Elle and Morgan, as you don't actually stop kissing her.

Well, you not mad, or about to throw a very good thing away, are you?

You (eventually) pull away and realise JJ is crying her eyes out and hug her hard to you, as she sobs quietly into your rather dirty sweater vest.

You smile brightly as the gob-smacked team.

"Can I have some coffee?"

After re-telling your story three times (holding JJ's hand non stop, thank you very much) you start fighting the urge to put your head on the table and sleep for the next week or so. Yawning, you look down at yours and JJ's interlinked hands and smile.

Everyone notices, and you're sure you just heard Garcia sigh like a little girl.

"… and that's what happened. Obviously, I called the local police station and their dealing with it now, as we speak actually, which is rather good going, considering the response time for a local police force is usually around 11 minutes. So anyway, I'm sure his hideous band of ferrets haven't eaten off his face or anything. In fact, I'm almost certain, but I can hope, right?

I left the key to the cage tapped to the front door and came straight here. Oh, and I think I need to go to the hospital soon."

That makes everyone start somewhat.

"Why? What's the matter with you? You look physically fine to me." asks Gideon, concerned, leaning toward you.

Smiling cheerfully –

"Oh, nothing much. I dislocated my elbow, I'm pretty sure I have a concussion and I broke my index finger on my right hand when I punched him."

Morgan laughs.

"Where do you punch him Champ?"

You smile at the memory of feeling his nose collapse under your fist.

"On the nose. I broke it, and that's when he passed out."

Morgan whistles and Elle looks suitably impressed.

"Jeez, you must have hit him pretty damn hard Spence" says Garcia, making you yet another coffee, adding four large tablespoons of sugar to it.

"Well, yeah. He was going to kill me and I was really annoyed about it."

The whole team just looks at you.

"What?"

The whole team trundles off to the hospital with you, despite (or perhaps because of) your insistence they all don't need to come with you, you're a big boy now, you have a gun, etc etc, but no one seems to listening to you.

JJ still hasn't spoken or let go off your hand, much to your delight and the annoyance of the nurse when she tried to take blood form you, because apparently JJ likes to growl.

You're slightly worried because it sorta turned you on.

When you reach the 3 hour mark and there's still no sign of any communication, you begin to worry in overdrive.

Gideon seems to sense this and ushers the team out of the room in the search of food. Yes, because MacDonald's is 'food'.

Damn tasty chicken sandwiches though.

"Jennifer?"

Her head snaps up and looks you dead in the eyes. Sitting next to the bed in what looks like a _very_ uncomfortable chair, she looks very pretty and very vulnerable and you feel the over-whelming urge to protect her.

"Are you ok?" you ask quietly, going for the sensitive, strong man approach, but end up sounding like you're talking to a frightened dog.

(What a great way to start this conversation.)

JJ snorts in the most un-ladylike way you've ever heard ever, and you smile because she can't be that bad if she can snort like that, and again, you're slightly worries because you start to feel a tad turned on.

"Am I ok? Spence, who cares? Are you ok? You're the one who got kidnapped and stuffed in a cage for no apparent reason, and you're actually worried about me, aren't you?"

She gets up and starts pacing the room. You stare wearily at her, because she's just over-so-slightly hysterical and it's making you nervous. And more than a little turned on.

Damn hormones!

She shakes her head slightly in disbelief. "Am I ok? Honestly Spence, you have to be the most selfless person I know. I'm fine, really. I just cried a lot when they told me you were gone and I threw my computer screen at the conference room wall, but that's about it"

(Ahh, so _that's_ what the bang was!)

She still rambling away.

"… and then they said something about a hideous band of ferrets trying to eat your face off? I was so ridiculously scared I …"

"JJ?"

"… and then the looks I got for screaming at Hotch like that! I'm amazed I still have a job, actually. But oh well, I was getting slightly…."

"JJ"

"And honestly, MacDonald's! They can't really call that food, legally I mean. More like …"

"JENNIFER!!"

She stops her pacing and looks at you. _Finally_, she's shut up. You hate to see her unhappy, it makes you sad.

Her lower lip begins to tremble slightly as she looks at you, tears dripping down her face. You feel a dull ache inside your chest at the sight and open up your arms, and she falls into them rather gracefully, and you budge along the bed to give her more room.

Quietly crying into your shoulder, you put your arms around her and let her cry. You let your mind wonder, because you refuse to analysis this, whatever _this_ is between you and JJ. So instead, you find yourself thinking about the outer shells of the element magnesium, until JJ looks up at you.

Tilting your head slightly, you look down and she's stopped crying and she smiles at you, and you're pretty sure you just felt your heart break with happiness at the sight of it.

You lean down and kiss her.

You can't quite figure out who's more embarrassed, you or Gideon.

About 10 seconds ago, they Hotch and Gideon walked into your hospital room to find you on top of JJ, about to do the no pants dance.

They opened the door quietly, so neither of you had a clue, because you were too bust trying to find the exact spot on JJ's neck that makes her sigh like –

Oh, wait. There it is.

Kissing her again, you actually fall off JJ _and_ the bed when you hear Gideon cough tactfully.

Gahhh! Why now?? God _dammit!_

Inwardly thanking god you'd managed to keep your pants on (somehow), you pick yourself off the floor like a very pissed off panther, and all but snarl at Hotch and Gideon –

"_Yes???"_

JJ, by this time, being the practical one, has pulled the covers over her head and is currently shaking with laughter. Annoyed, you hit a lump under the blanket and hope it's not her face. She yelps.

For a change, Gideon had nothing to say, so Hotch takes over.

"Nothing! We'll just be on our way then!! Have a good time, er, I mean _talk_!"

The pair all but run out the room, sniggering to themselves.

You close the door with a satisfying slam and block it with the chair. Sitting back on the bed, you stare venomously at the door and inform JJ that they've left.

You're too annoyed to be embarrassed now, and it doesn't calm you down any to see JJ is _still_ laughing.

"Oh, come _on_! That was funny! Granted, we'll loose our jobs or whatever, but the look on Gideon's face was so worth it."

Shaking you head but smiling, you get under the covers and on top again, compressing the urge to tell her she can leave if she wants, but as it turns out, you didn't have to worry because she wraps her legs around your waist and resumes kissing you.

This is going to be fun.

(You know about all the jokes behind your back, you're gay or a virgin in most, but what the team doesn't know doesn't hurt them and makes you smile. You learn from experience and you're no blushing virgin.)

Your hips move at a steady pace as you remove her clothes one by one, taking your time.

She moans in your ear and you shudder slightly. You're now down to her underwear. Excellent. She wiggles underneath you, and you're forced to stop for a second and regain your senses. You shake your head like you've dog water in your ears and resume fiddling with her bra clasp.

You (finally) get that stupid black bra off and pull off her knickers, and holy crap JJ is bloody beautiful. You stare at her in way you're sure makes her uncomfortable, but you have to remember this, you have to memorise every detail about her, so you can remember when she leaves.

You both hurriedly remove the rest of your clothes and you're both wonderfully naked, and things are about to get interesting when you hear a knock on the door.

Stifling the urge to scream loudly, you grab the nearest thing to you (JJ's left shoe, as it were) and throw it at the door.

"**FUCK ****OFF**"

Looking down, you apologise about the shoe, and start kissing her again. She bites down on her lip and you move your hips down hard, and things get very interesting indeed.


End file.
